Wednesday, April 13, 2016

When It's Time to Walk Away from Friendship

Life is short.  It's fleeting.  We are here one minute and gone the very next.  So, why do so many of us spend it dwelling on the things and people who no longer bring meaning to our lives?  Is it habit?  Perhaps.  But, one thing is for sure... it's a waste of time... the very short time we have here on this beautiful planet of ours.  We've all been there, right?  The awesome friend we couldn't imagine our life without and then suddenly, boom, they're over there and we're over here.  They changed.  We changed.  Life changed.  Whether it's a new marriage, a baby, a new job, new group of friends or a dumb fight, suddenly they are now further away from the friendship than ever and it's hurting our hearts.  What to do, what to do?

Unfortunately, I've been in this situation more times than I care to count.  Having moved 14-15 different times in my childhood years, I moved schools, a lot.  So, I left friends behind constantly.  Especially having grown up in the age of no social media or cell phones (cave times!!).  As an adult it's happened to me a few times.  The most recent one being a "friend" who walked away while I was pregnant (ouch!).  She never really said why.  She just deleted me from Facebook and walked away from a 5 year friendship without as much as an explanation.  She then shared with my sister that it was because I was "mean" to her. Huh? I was a hormonal pregnant mess! What in the world?  A true friend would've understood that and said, "Yep. Bygones." In fact, I tell my best friend now, who is 9 months pregnant that whatever she says or does while pregnant is forgiven, point blank, no questions.  Unfortunately, not everyone is that considerate.

So, what did I learn from that person?  That some people are insensitive jerks? Yea. Perhaps.  But, mostly, I learned that not everyone is deserving of our friendship.  Sometimes people just suck.  And I don't mean that in a derogatory way.  I mean, they really do suck.  They suck the energy out of us.  They suck the positive vibes out of our lives.  They suck happiness and joy and hope and understanding out of us without ever offering anything in return.  So, why do we hang on to these sucky people? We shouldn't.

Let's count our losses, move on and make room in our lives for genuine people who do deserve us.  It's quite simple really.

By the way, I wrote said "friend" recently to apologize for having hurt her (you know... while I was hormonal and preggers).  She responded by not responding to me and blocking me from Facebook and then proceeding to tell my sister she thought that was the best way to handle it. 

Again, some people are much better left in the distant past.  And by the way, if you're wondering what mean thing I did/say? I still don't know.  Since I was never told. Haha!! Crazy. 

Let's push the crazies out and make time and space for the cool beans in our lives.  They are so much more fun anyway! Have a great Wednesday!


P.S.  Keep in mind that even when we let people go and remove them from our lives, we don't waste precious time hating them.  That is also fruitless.  The key to peace is to forgive/ask to be forgiven; move on if the situation calls for it and there's no reconciliation; send them off with good energy, wishing them well in their future and keeping them in prayer.  Hate is an ugly word and a feeling that we should never hold on to.  It's toxic.  Send people away with love and forgiveness for their shortcomings.  After all, none of us are perfect.